True Grit of A Seeker

true grit of a seeker

I just found out freedom means a lot of things. It’s not really a liberation from some sort of things, rather it’s another way of living a life with different sets of struggles.

When I was still in the corporate world, I thought freedom means being out of some sleeping people’s authority, free to be myself, free to do what I love to do.

However, when I already have in my hands the things that I consider could bring me liberation, I realized I am facing another set of challenges. Some of which are the following:

1. People do not appreciate your freedom because they’re conditioned to live as slaves.

People are so conditioned to live a pre-designed life that when you don’t fit in a cookie cutter they’ll think you’re absurd. It’s hard for them to understand why you do what you do because in the first place they don’t know why they do what they do.

2. When you take on the Seeker’s journey, only a very few could resonate.

People fight for a pre-designed path that when someone says this is the right way, most will answer without batting eyelashes: Yeah, it’s the right way!

They forget that they have to forge their own path in order to know why they’re here in this world in the first place.

3. Shredding title off yourself means people will not like you for being ordinary.

People are crazy for titles. I don’t blame those who have and deserving for titles without identifying their ego with it.

Shredding myself off a title gives me the freedom to be who I am and not being identified as something that does not make me who I really am. It feels so wonderful to be a ‘nothing’!

4. Preparing to go against conventional wisdom and be criticized for it.

Done playing the validity’s game. Actually, I love to comment on posts, especially now that I am on a genuine soul’s journey. When I see something that’s not quite right like a thwarted belief, I share my opinion on the matter, not to make the other person appear wrong, but to make them see something that’s nearer to the truth if they’re just open enough for it.

It’s okay to be hated than to carry on with regrets for not sharing what was bestowed on me. If I’m the one who is wrong, that’s a great opportunity for learning. Besides, life is not best lived by how many times I was right, it’s how I learned from being wrong!

5. Embracing the life of the lone wolf.

When others learned that I’m just staying at home, they’re raising their eyebrows. Because for most of them aloneness kills. They forget that while it kills them, it might invigorate others.

I have to embrace who I am because that is just what I am. I am different, so are other people. The difference lies in the fact that only a few choose to live the life they want, and most live their life in accordance to the number of likes they receive in their social media accounts. I know, this is ouch! But it’s a hard reality.

5. Trusting God, or the Universe of what’s to come.

One reason why people try hard to get ahead of life is the feelings of security. Yes, we need to consider our physical body’s survival and those of our loved ones, yet it’s only one-half of the equation. Who knows what’s to come? No one. Who gives what we need? God, Higher power. Why fret?

6. Accepting and embracing people for what they are.

This is my struggle too. It doesn’t mean that because I am finding my way, I am right and others are wrong. They’re just living their life according to how they see fit.

Bringing them to the brighter side of life, to what really MATTERS is the greatest challenge on the seeker’s journey, but one we must do because it’s what we’re called to do.

While on earth, there’s no actual freedom. We can only continue to hold on to our greatest Source to lighten our path and makes the journey a little lighter for our self and others.

pwnezel

 

Daily Prompt

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The Newest and Most Amazing Addition to My Core Memory

The Newest and Most Amazing Addition to My Core Memory

Get-together

Float. A word that when heard gives you a feeling of lightness and positive vibes. As a matter of fact, I had a wonderful experience with this one just last December.

As our company’s custom, we were to have our company’s annual gathering a day prior to our Christmas party. For this year’s activities, we had a recollection in the morning and the evaluation of each branch’s performance in the afternoon.

Honestly, I never had the vaguest idea how the recollection would affect me. I thought it would be the same experience we had just like the previous years: listen to what the priest had to share, laugh at his jokes, and plainly follow where he might lead us.

However, this one was far different. I could not explain if my experience of the night before had something to do with it, or it was just a simple coincidence.

Restless

I was unable to sleep the night before. It may be because I was in a different room with four other people or maybe it was due to a feeling of overwhelm as the long preparation for our presentation contest had just been over. Yep, we just danced earlier.

Anyway, yes I was unable to sleep, so restless. I felt a tinge of emptiness inside of me. I longed for silence. Inner silence. The kind of silence where I would not hear the noise from the air-conditioning or the snoring of my roommates. Specifically, I sought God. I missed God. I wanted to talk to Him verbally. I wanted to go outside, but afraid of being misinterpreted for staying out alone in the middle of the night. I felt so helpless.

Thankfully, I fell into a deep slumber after I started calling out Jesus’s name. That was the last thing I remembered upon waking up three hours later.

Recollection

So then when we were inside the conference hall my eyelids were so heavy. The raindrops perfectly added to the sleepiness that I felt. The priest arrived. A not-so-interesting looking guy. Tall. A bit slim. Looked intelligent.

Father Ram was gentle but firm. He ordered us (not requested) to go to the comfort room or do anything that makes us comfortable for five minutes before he would begin because he does not want anyone to be roaming around when he begins.

He was direct to the point. And I loved it. I was surprised when he said he wanted us to meet God not because we were told, but meet God for the sake of meeting Him. Cool. I thought, “ah, meditation.” Just like what I used to do.

I began to get worried when Father Ram told us to close our eyes. I was afraid I might fall asleep. That would be embarrassing. His technique was guided meditation with the help of background instrumental music.

With eyes closed, I struggled to stay awake. Father Ram’s voice echoed. Gentle. Comforting. He brought us to a place we longed for. The most beautiful place we could think of. Any place where we each finds comfort. I told myself, “ah, my paradise.” I began to scroll through my memory the image of my paradise. Because I was so sleepy, I only had fragments of it. The rainbow’s colors were not vibrant. The waterfalls were foggy. The grass on my feet was not so soft. Still, I managed to stay there.

Reunited

I thought that would be the end of it. But I was caught by surprise when Father Ram urged us to welcome Jesus walking slowly towards us. The image of Him walking towards me was disturbing. My tears just fell unwantedly, when we were guided to gaze closely at his blue eyes. His loving gaze penetrated deeply into my whole being; my every bone, my tiniest cell, the darkest corners of my soul. I tried to control those tears because I did not want anybody noticed me crying. But in the silence of the room sobs began to be heard. I felt relieved for that knowledge.

So I continued to focus at the moment, at the blue eyes that gazed lovingly into my sinful soul. I felt so lost in the sea of my emotions. I let go. I could not believe that the night before I longed for Him. And a few hours later, here He was looking into my eyes, loving me, hugging me. It was so good to have Him with me once again.

A light seemed to surround me. At that moment it was only me and Jesus. His embrace melted into my flesh. I felt so light all over. I seemed to float. I wanted to spread my arms and fly. I felt like flying. I was on cloud nine, ten, eleven. Words are too weak to describe the beauty of that moment. It was just so wow!

Reality

Father Ram’s voice brought me back into reality when he told us to offer to Jesus all our pains and troubles. As to this part, I was not so dramatic. For I know, troubles are always there for our growth and learning. The only difference is: when we call on God to carry the burdens with us, life is bearable. If not, it would be a misery.

I felt Jesus telling me that He is just there no matter what. He is always there. I need only to call on Him and listen to the silence in my heart where He speaks. That was all I need.

Re-energized

When we were brought back to reality, I felt very much energized. The feeling of sleepiness was gone. I felt so fresh, so whole, so complete—the feelings I least expected.

It was years gone by when I last had my recollection. And I am so thankful for having this one at the end of the year. Until now the positive vibes I have had still lingers. With this experience fresh in my memory bucket, I know a wonderful year is waiting for me.

May your year started this beautiful too. Have a blessed day!

pwnezel

Float

Specific

Infinite

 

 

 

 

 

Why Do Hearts Constantly Break?

why do hearts constantly break

Why do hearts constantly break? I often ask myself. I don’t want broken hearts—mine or that of others. But hearts tend to break easily whether we like it or not, over small things and even crazy, nonsense ones. It is its nature—to break. Why? Because it’s through those cracks that God could easily enter. And it’s through those brokenness that God could prove He is able to make our broken hearts in perfect shape again…

 

Mind The Gap

Mind the gap

These past few days my creative juices stop flowing. Frustration would grip every writer when this thing happens. I am. Thankfully, images are great life-savers.

I am not under the spell of writer’s block. My mind is just too stressed to receive or share fresh insights. Others call this overwhelm. It really is. I tackle too many things this time: completing office stuff before the year ends, home-decorating ideas for Christmas, prepping for the company’s Christmas party presentation and taking the necessary steps for a full-blown online writing career.

Yes, I am into bringing my life’s passion to the next level. I want to roll into one my passion and work. Perhaps I would be less stressed by then since there is not much effort on my part. This is the new  recipe I am cooking for my life when the new year starts. With much hope that I could create a perfect dish.

This leads me to focus on the gaps in between. This is the gap that Ben Huberman talks about in this week’s Discover Challenge. This gap is the missing link in the journey from here to there. Here is where the initiative, perseverance, persistence, strategies, actions and the like come into the picture. And here is where I am at this point. I guess, most of us are.

On the other side of the coin are the challenges inherent to every success journey. This is very much anticipated. While it would be my desire to weather every storm along the way, there may be some instances where I spread myself too thinly. I could just prepare myself for these things.

I greatly believe: When God leads us to an unknown path, He would never ever leave us. This is what I keep holding on to. Come what may, God is with me.

May you already found the gap that leads you from here to there.

purposivewriter - nezel yurong

Mind the Gap

Anticipate