faith

July 11, 2017

True Grit of A Seeker

true grit of a seeker

I just found out freedom means a lot of things. It’s not really a liberation from some sort of things, rather it’s another way of living a life with different sets of struggles.

When I was still in the corporate world, I thought freedom means being out of some sleeping people’s authority, free to be myself, free to do what I love to do.

However, when I already have in my hands the things that I consider could bring me liberation, I realized I am facing another set of challenges. Some of which are the following:

1. People do not appreciate your freedom because they’re conditioned to live as slaves.

People are so conditioned to live a pre-designed life that when you don’t fit in a cookie cutter they’ll think you’re absurd. It’s hard for them to understand why you do what you do because in the first place they don’t know why they do what they do.

2. When you take on the Seeker’s journey, only a very few could resonate.

People fight for a pre-designed path that when someone says this is the right way, most will answer without batting eyelashes: Yeah, it’s the right way!

They forget that they have to forge their own path in order to know why they’re here in this world in the first place.

3. Shredding title off yourself means people will not like you for being ordinary.

People are crazy for titles. I don’t blame those who have and deserving for titles without identifying their ego with it.

Shredding myself off a title gives me the freedom to be who I am and not being identified as something that does not make me who I really am. It feels so wonderful to be a ‘nothing’!

4. Preparing to go against conventional wisdom and be criticized for it.

Done playing the validity’s game. Actually, I love to comment on posts, especially now that I am on a genuine soul’s journey. When I see something that’s not quite right like a thwarted belief, I share my opinion on the matter, not to make the other person appear wrong, but to make them see something that’s nearer to the truth if they’re just open enough for it.

It’s okay to be hated than to carry on with regrets for not sharing what was bestowed on me. If I’m the one who is wrong, that’s a great opportunity for learning. Besides, life is not best lived by how many times I was right, it’s how I learned from being wrong!

5. Embracing the life of the lone wolf.

When others learned that I’m just staying at home, they’re raising their eyebrows. Because for most of them aloneness kills. They forget that while it kills them, it might invigorate others.

I have to embrace who I am because that is just what I am. I am different, so are other people. The difference lies in the fact that only a few choose to live the life they want, and most live their life in accordance to the number of likes they receive in their social media accounts. I know, this is ouch! But it’s a hard reality.

5. Trusting God, or the Universe of what’s to come.

One reason why people try hard to get ahead of life is the feelings of security. Yes, we need to consider our physical body’s survival and those of our loved ones, yet it’s only one-half of the equation. Who knows what’s to come? No one. Who gives what we need? God, Higher power. Why fret?

6. Accepting and embracing people for what they are.

This is my struggle too. It doesn’t mean that because I am finding my way, I am right and others are wrong. They’re just living their life according to how they see fit.

Bringing them to the brighter side of life, to what really MATTERS is the greatest challenge on the seeker’s journey, but one we must do because it’s what we’re called to do.

While on earth, there’s no actual freedom. We can only continue to hold on to our greatest Source to lighten our path and makes the journey a little lighter for our self and others.

pwnezel

 

Daily Prompt

January 8, 2017

The Newest and Most Amazing Addition to My Core Memory

The Newest and Most Amazing Addition to My Core Memory

Get-together

Float. A word that when heard gives you a feeling of lightness and positive vibes. As a matter of fact, I had a wonderful experience with this one just last December.

As our company’s custom, we were to have our company’s annual gathering a day prior to our Christmas party. For this year’s activities, we had a recollection in the morning and the evaluation of each branch’s performance in the afternoon.

Honestly, I never had the vaguest idea how the recollection would affect me. I thought it would be the same experience we had just like the previous years: listen to what the priest had to share, laugh at his jokes, and plainly follow where he might lead us.

However, this one was far different. I could not explain if my experience of the night before had something to do with it, or it was just a simple coincidence.

Restless

I was unable to sleep the night before. It may be because I was in a different room with four other people or maybe it was due to a feeling of overwhelm as the long preparation for our presentation contest had just been over. Yep, we just danced earlier.

Anyway, yes I was unable to sleep, so restless. I felt a tinge of emptiness inside of me. I longed for silence. Inner silence. The kind of silence where I would not hear the noise from the air-conditioning or the snoring of my roommates. Specifically, I sought God. I missed God. I wanted to talk to Him verbally. I wanted to go outside, but afraid of being misinterpreted for staying out alone in the middle of the night. I felt so helpless.

Thankfully, I fell into a deep slumber after I started calling out Jesus’s name. That was the last thing I remembered upon waking up three hours later.

Recollection

So then when we were inside the conference hall my eyelids were so heavy. The raindrops perfectly added to the sleepiness that I felt. The priest arrived. A not-so-interesting looking guy. Tall. A bit slim. Looked intelligent.

Father Ram was gentle but firm. He ordered us (not requested) to go to the comfort room or do anything that makes us comfortable for five minutes before he would begin because he does not want anyone to be roaming around when he begins.

He was direct to the point. And I loved it. I was surprised when he said he wanted us to meet God not because we were told, but meet God for the sake of meeting Him. Cool. I thought, “ah, meditation.” Just like what I used to do.

I began to get worried when Father Ram told us to close our eyes. I was afraid I might fall asleep. That would be embarrassing. His technique was guided meditation with the help of background instrumental music.

With eyes closed, I struggled to stay awake. Father Ram’s voice echoed. Gentle. Comforting. He brought us to a place we longed for. The most beautiful place we could think of. Any place where we each finds comfort. I told myself, “ah, my paradise.” I began to scroll through my memory the image of my paradise. Because I was so sleepy, I only had fragments of it. The rainbow’s colors were not vibrant. The waterfalls were foggy. The grass on my feet was not so soft. Still, I managed to stay there.

Reunited

I thought that would be the end of it. But I was caught by surprise when Father Ram urged us to welcome Jesus walking slowly towards us. The image of Him walking towards me was disturbing. My tears just fell unwantedly, when we were guided to gaze closely at his blue eyes. His loving gaze penetrated deeply into my whole being; my every bone, my tiniest cell, the darkest corners of my soul. I tried to control those tears because I did not want anybody noticed me crying. But in the silence of the room sobs began to be heard. I felt relieved for that knowledge.

So I continued to focus at the moment, at the blue eyes that gazed lovingly into my sinful soul. I felt so lost in the sea of my emotions. I let go. I could not believe that the night before I longed for Him. And a few hours later, here He was looking into my eyes, loving me, hugging me. It was so good to have Him with me once again.

A light seemed to surround me. At that moment it was only me and Jesus. His embrace melted into my flesh. I felt so light all over. I seemed to float. I wanted to spread my arms and fly. I felt like flying. I was on cloud nine, ten, eleven. Words are too weak to describe the beauty of that moment. It was just so wow!

Reality

Father Ram’s voice brought me back into reality when he told us to offer to Jesus all our pains and troubles. As to this part, I was not so dramatic. For I know, troubles are always there for our growth and learning. The only difference is: when we call on God to carry the burdens with us, life is bearable. If not, it would be a misery.

I felt Jesus telling me that He is just there no matter what. He is always there. I need only to call on Him and listen to the silence in my heart where He speaks. That was all I need.

Re-energized

When we were brought back to reality, I felt very much energized. The feeling of sleepiness was gone. I felt so fresh, so whole, so complete—the feelings I least expected.

It was years gone by when I last had my recollection. And I am so thankful for having this one at the end of the year. Until now the positive vibes I have had still lingers. With this experience fresh in my memory bucket, I know a wonderful year is waiting for me.

May your year started this beautiful too. Have a blessed day!

pwnezel

Float

Specific

Infinite

 

 

 

 

 

November 26, 2016

Why Do Hearts Constantly Break?

why do hearts constantly break

Why do hearts constantly break? I often ask myself. I don’t want broken hearts—mine or that of others. But hearts tend to break easily whether we like it or not, over small things and even crazy, nonsense ones. It is its nature—to break. Why? Because it’s through those cracks that God could easily enter. And it’s through those brokenness that God could prove He is able to make our broken hearts in perfect shape again…

 

November 24, 2016

Mind The Gap

Mind the gap

These past few days my creative juices stop flowing. Frustration would grip every writer when this thing happens. I am. Thankfully, images are great life-savers.

I am not under the spell of writer’s block. My mind is just too stressed to receive or share fresh insights. Others call this overwhelm. It really is. I tackle too many things this time: completing office stuff before the year ends, home-decorating ideas for Christmas, prepping for the company’s Christmas party presentation and taking the necessary steps for a full-blown online writing career.

Yes, I am into bringing my life’s passion to the next level. I want to roll into one my passion and work. Perhaps I would be less stressed by then since there is not much effort on my part. This is the new  recipe I am cooking for my life when the new year starts. With much hope that I could create a perfect dish.

This leads me to focus on the gaps in between. This is the gap that Ben Huberman talks about in this week’s Discover Challenge. This gap is the missing link in the journey from here to there. Here is where the initiative, perseverance, persistence, strategies, actions and the like come into the picture. And here is where I am at this point. I guess, most of us are.

On the other side of the coin are the challenges inherent to every success journey. This is very much anticipated. While it would be my desire to weather every storm along the way, there may be some instances where I spread myself too thinly. I could just prepare myself for these things.

I greatly believe: When God leads us to an unknown path, He would never ever leave us. This is what I keep holding on to. Come what may, God is with me.

May you already found the gap that leads you from here to there.

purposivewriter - nezel yurong

Mind the Gap

Anticipate

October 31, 2016

How To Slay A Giant

 

There was never a hint of fear as David aimed his sling at Goliath’s forehead. The stone penetrated into the giant’s forehead which caused him to fall down. David then took the giant’s sword and cut off Goliath’s head.

How did David got the courage to do this? To think, he was not a member of the king’s army. He was there because he was asked by his father to bring food for his brothers who were there for forty days to fight with the king’s army. The battle lasted that long as no one would want to face the giant for the fear of being killed.

David kept on asking the men as to what the reward may be if ever someone would kill the giant, until the king heard him. The king discouraged him because he was young and inexperienced. But David boldly related to the king how he killed lions and bears just to protect his sheep. Saul then approved that David would face the giant.

David faced the giant without sword and armor for it were too heavy for him to carry and he was not used to it. He boldly declared that when it is God’s will to deliver the enemy unto his people’s hands it requires no sword or spear. Eventually, he defeated Goliath.

Is David’s story applicable to the modern times? Absolutely.

Key Points:

  • David was trained in solitude. He was there all alone tending his flock because he was a shepherd. In solitude his character was formed. The solitude makes us face our self, our longings, our deeper issues. When all our issues are resolved, our character is strengthened. It is in solitude too, that we find God.
  • David grew up in obscurity. Men and women of God, servant-leaders in the making, are first unknown, unseen, unappreciated, and unapplauded. In the quiet context of obscurity, character is built. Today, with the advent of social media we may be seen and known, but when our purpose for being here is to gain popularity, we are not best qualified as God’s personnel. It requires time to build a character and credibility.
  • David lived a life of monotony. It is being faithful in the menial, insignificant, routine, unexciting, uneventful, daily tasks of life. Life without a break… without vacation in white sand beaches or a travel to famous places. Just plain life, constant, unchanging… with nobody else around to notice or to care. This one is a big challenge for us today. For every suggestion of ‘successful’ people, we tend to follow. Everything becomes a sensation. We do things because it is popular and we want to ride with the tide. We come to believe that our value lies in the number of Likes, Shares, or Follows in our social media account. We do things differently to avoid monotony.
  • David was disciplined in reality. He lived in his real world. He killed lions and bears when no one was looking. He did it because he was a responsible shepherd. Here, we are called to be real that we may defeat every lion and bear that would hold us prey. This is a reality that urges us to stand firmly on our ground and not let other’s twisted notions and convictions to sway us away from our right path.
  • David was confident. He believed he could slay the giant which he eventually did. Confidence is what the modern gurus teach us to acquire. They are right. No one could face life’s battles without the right amount of confidence.
  •  David used his skills and the right weapon that fitted him to kill the giant, instead of the weapons and armors of the trained army. ‘This is what the experts do and use, you must use it too.’ Sounds familiar right? In our modern times, we tend to follow the expert in order to become an expert. There may be nothing wrong with that as we do ‘need’ mentors in one way or another to get ‘there.’ What we must be aware though is the reality that we have different skills and we have different calling. We need to learn the specific skills for our specific calling.
  • David had great faith in God. He believed God would deliver the giant unto his hands. God did. This we must always remember. If there are giants looming before our path, we need to possess that great faith that God would deliver those giants unto our hands. We need not only the skills, but also the faith.

May we be able to slay all the giants that challenge us along the way.

purposivewriter - nezel yurong

Giant

 

October 28, 2016

Smoke Gets In Her Eyes

Smoke gets in her eyes.

“Smoke gets in my eyes,” my friend told me unabashedly as she wiped the tears away from her eyes. If we were grilling, I would have accepted that truth easily. But we were not. We were in the living room and not in the kitchen. It took minutes for my boggled mind to compose. Then I slowly realized the depth of what she was going through emotionally. Her pains just struck her somewhere and cause ‘smoke’ to get in her eyes.

How many times this situation happens to me too. A painful thought just flash before my mind, then ‘smoke gets in my eyes’. I am just thankful this happens seldom in my life now, except when I am in church with my mind, body and soul. ‘Smoke gets in my eyes’ easily.

How often do I used to escape to the comfort room or in my bedroom when I sense ‘smoke is getting in my eyes.’ The ‘smoke’ triggers are negative criticisms, backbiting, scolding, humiliating words and all kinds of negativeness thrown my way. But life is the school of hard knocks. The more you are beaten, the stronger you become. The more you rise, the more you gain wisdom.

I have beaten my ‘smoke’ triggers by expanding my mind, expanding my world and accepting everything to be just as it is. For many great teachers passed this way: Jesus, Mohammad, Buddha. After them the world still remains, full of pain and shame. BUT once a person has the WILL to follow their every teaching, that person becomes FREE. So why focus on the world outside that I have no control over when the world inside could be saved if I just WANT to? And by directing that inner world into the light, the world outside benefits from it in subtle ways. ‘Smoke’ triggers are then beaten slowly.

May you would be able to beat your ‘smoke’ triggers too.

purposivewriter - nezel yurong

Smoke

 

October 27, 2016

Please Be Guided Accordingly

Please be guided accordingly

I was taken off-guard the moment they entered one by one. I knew I was not supposed to stare at people while inside. I should have my full focus on the purpose of my coming here. But by their looks, inside the place of worship, seemed not to coincide at all.

They were a group of young people, four to be exact, probably eighteen years old and above. They wore shorts and shirts appropriate only for the beach. Slowly they entered the church while the choir sang the Gloria.  They settled at the pew in the front row right behind the choir.

By their looks one could say they are not local Parishioners. I was just a kind of shock why they have to make such a dramatic entrance with how they look. My friend who sat in front of me whispered to his wife asking who they were. His wife just shrugged her shoulders and signaled at him to be quiet.

Okay. We were inside of the church attending the holy mass. We were not supposed to judge nor criticize anyone. But here is my take:

The church is a place of worship, therefore, a place of respect too. The church does not stand for its Parishioners. It stands for God. We could talk to God or pray to God anywhere, anytime. But when we CHOOSE to WORSHIP God inside the church attending a HOLY MASS, we must be aware of our every act and make ourselves presentable before God. It is our responsibility to not make the little ones stumble because of our actions. We could not simply say, “It’s the problem of the people why they judge or criticize me, when in fact I just go there to attend the mass. I have clear intentions.” If you have clear intentions, why not make yourself ‘presentable‘? If you have clear intentions, you could have chosen to sit at the rear end pews where people hardly notices you. There, you could pray and worship without being conscious of how oddly you look inside this place.

Other churches have signage at their entrance directing people to attend mass or enter the church in proper attire. This signage specifically states as to what attire are acceptable and what are not. Our local church does not have it. I suppose, it is only on the prerogative of the Parish priest.

After the mass, I waited for my husband outside. He is a choir member, and it is their job to keep the instruments in their proper place after being used. When he joined me, he said those young people were the students of the choir’s music teacher. This teacher came from the other island adjacent to ours. He said they were there because they visited one local beach the day before.

For me, it was still not an excuse why they have to show up with their beach attire. They could have covered themselves with scarf or whatever that would not show any disrespect for the holy mass and the people in there.

Whoever we are, wherever we go, we carry our faith with us. In these days of restless travels, we must always be aware if we have imprinted a pleasant impression on the place we are about to leave. We must not leave it to people to understand us, we must also understand the people in the places we visit. And it is much, much better to leave a GOOD example to strangers who would soon forget our face, but would never forget how we made them feel.

My plea to the Millennials out there: Please do NOT stretch the rules of the church to fit in with your lifestyle.

purposivewriter - nezel yurong

Banned