Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
Days ago I contemplated on narrowing down my niche to healing. What a coincidence it is to today’s prompt. Let me enumerate the grounds why I want to choose this path:
We are all broken
Each of us carries within our self wounds from the past. We get used to it until we consider these wounds a part of our very self. Left unresolved, these wounds would interfere with our day to day activities. We then start to wonder why things always get messy, why peace is elusive, and why it seems we could not do a thing right.
The world needs healers
It was written that those who can love the greatest are the ones who experienced pain the greatest. For how can one describe a place in its minute details when he has never been there? The same holds true for healing. Healers knew where it hurts, what helps and what doesn’t. They just don’t sympathize, they empathize as well.
The world is broken. Very broken. We could not just stand still and watch pains and hurts unfold before our eyes. We need to do our part. But before we could extend help, we need to help our self first. We need to heal first.
Why should I do this? Who cares? I asked these questions unto myself. I am a nobody and no one would care to listen anyway. But hey. There is a point in which the messenger is not as important as the message. The point is authenticity. It’s the message between the lines that matter. It’s the force behind the words that urges each one to push through. May we not be constrained in our own limiting beliefs in doing what we feel we should do. Our message may be simple, yet it may be the only words that a broken soul needs in a particular minute.
I need healing too
I’ve been trying to heal myself for quite a time now. Then it occurs to me that it may be more inspiring if I heal with other wounded souls too. That way, I would not be alone in this journey.
So, if you’re like me, I invite you to ride along. Together, in our small way, let us be tenacious in “healing the world and making it a better place.”
There is nothing more comforting than when you are connected with others. This connection makes you more secure, more accepted and gives you a sense of belongingness. However, this connectedness must not limit you to your individuality.
At some point in your life, you need to distance your beloved self from others in order to see the bigger things that are specifically designed for you. Because when you’re going with the flow all too often, you sometimes get lost in the crowd. You are one with it, yet not quite feeling in it. While going with the flow offers less resistance, going against it creates friction and discord in your perceived outcomes. But, should you continue the road to least resistance even when you’re not designed to fit in that arena?
Choosing to follow your own individuality might be daunting, but before giving up, consider the following importance of conquering such lofty task.
Carving your own path
The path to individuality is yours to take. NO one could live it for you. Jacob Sokol in his ebook, Living on Purpose, points out that creating your own path is like paving your way in a jungle. You don’t know what’s ahead. You just have to cut your way through dense undergrowth and face whatever you find along the way. You have to have a remarkable amount of grit in order to do this.
Following the path that others may have carved may be helpful, like choosing to have a mentor in a specific field you want to master and in which you feel you’re called to do. But doing the actual thing is your own battle. It’s the same way as learning to walk while a small child. Your parents were there to assist you and catch you when you fall, but the strength needed to stand and take a step is yours alone to muster.
Letting your individuality shine
Oscar Wilde said, “Society exists only as a mental concept; in the real world there are only individuals.”
In the society as a whole, where can we find you? You don’t need to be famous and do great things in order to be recognized. When you become the person you truly are, your light shines no matter how small you may be. No small spark left unnoticed. So, shine on. Be you.
Developing your originality
You’re living in a world of copycats. I, for one, am guilty of this at some point. There was one time when I fell in love with the phrase “to the moon and back“. I first read it at a blogger’s bio. I thought of copying that. However, when I was still fabricating words where I could fill that in, it became an instant cliché. I kept seeing it used on Facebook, Instagram and even on TV promotions.
The creator of that phrase might have been proud. People loved it so much that they keep using it. This might be the one downside of living in the world of copycats. When what you produce becomes an instant hit, people would get confused about its origin.
But you won’t be stopped by this limitation, would you? No matter what, stay original. You may imitate the strategy of others, but not their works. Each one of us has our own genius. Find that genius in you. When you find it, you find the key to your originality chest.
Contributing your gifts to the world
When you find your own inner genius, and act on it, then you are contributing something to the world. Your contribution might be as small as finding your passion in gardening, or crocheting, or kayaking. No one might enjoy the activity as much as you, but what you become as a result of finding this true love is helpful to others. The beautiful person you could become is what the world needs. The world needs happy people, positive people, and inspiring people.
Not only that, you are also able to share with others the tips and tricks you learn along the way. Isn’t that cool?
Most of us are dreamers. The difference lies between continuing to just dream and doing something to chase the dream. When you’re able to chase your dream and fulfill it, others would be inspired to do the same. They’d find themselves more confident to get out of the pack and be their true, authentic selves.
Are you ready to spread inspiration? Please do. I might benefit from you in time, I know. All the things above are what I keep saying to myself too. I’m not there yet. And maybe there’s no final destination to the road of individuality. As long as we are given the opportunity to become who we truly are, we need to seize every moment of it.
May you find your own individuality.
I read somewhere of someone asking how to make her life extraordinary. Is your life ordinary? Mine too. The good thing with life is we are all born ordinary. Yes, others may have been born with a silver spoon in their mouth, but that does not make them extraordinary. Outwardly, perhaps. They live in huge abode than anybody else, do not need to clean their toilet like anybody else, and even have bodyguards and assistants who are always attentive to their every need.
Still, those things do not make someone extraordinary. Being extraordinary is an inward thing. It is a journey. It is a choice. Media may have its definition about being extraordinary by the way some things or people present themselves. That is why many aspire to be great, famous and wealthy in order to become extraordinary. Worse, they do all means whether acceptable or not just to get there. And we are all amazed at how they managed to climb on the pedestal they are currently standing on. However, when some things got out of hand, we then become shocked upon learning that someone with their standing committed suicide, or got divorced.
Having the same feelings and emotions is what makes us ordinary just like anybody else. What makes us extraordinary is the way we handle ourselves, our strengths, our weaknesses, our gifts, our pains, our life questions.
How then can we become extraordinary? I got the following hints from ordinary people trying to lead extraordinary lives. Together let’s walk through the pathway of their experience.
Be the best version of yourself
When we are in a difficult situation we tend to forget our better self. Most often we associate our self with the situation. When the situation is unfavorable, we also believe we are unlucky or just plain stupid. Being the best version of our self does not mean we are perfect. It means we are the best in our imperfections. It is to maintain grace in the presence of pressure.
It also does not mean we have to be somebody we are not. It’s normal that we admire some people. They only serve as an inspiration but not paintings to be imitated stroke by stroke. Thus, we need to discover our strengths. From there we follow the blueprints within us that make us great just as we are.
Be nice with others
Be nice to yourself first. You could not give what you lack. From there extend that niceness to the people around you. Most people shrink when they are expected to be nice. All because being nice is wrongly linked with being weak. They do not know that it requires great strength to be truly nice. As Richard Dawson said, “Be nice to each other. You can make a whole day a different day for everybody.”
Follow your passion
J.K. Rowling became the first billion-dollar author by following her passion. Passion is a flame that ignites our very being every time it is expressed. Whether our passion is as simple as gardening, nothing can compare the ecstasy we feel every time we see literally the fruit of our labor.
Look for beauty
Beauty is everywhere. It can be the smile of a child, the grace of old age, a flower in bloom, or simply looking within. Beauty presents itself effortlessly when it is sought by an unclouded mind. It is easier to find beauty by freeing our minds from our conditioned thoughts.
Practice random acts of kindness
When you show kindness to others the one who benefits more from it is our self. Take that from me. The sunny feeling of having been kind lasts a lot longer. And it brings a lightness inside for having shared a part of yourself with others.
Build people up
It is easier to tear people down than by building them up. That is why this is so challenging for most of us to do. If we want to be remembered or leave a lasting legacy, we have to muster all our strength to build up others.
Be surrounded by extraordinary people
In one of my unlucky days, I asked myself why had I been so stupid in my judgments. It then dawned on me that I had been surrounded with people of mediocre thinking. They’re nice, they have dreams but they’re not the type who’ll do anything to chase their dreams. Hence, I exited myself from their presence. We may not be physically surrounded by extraordinary people, but their works are much accessible through the internet. Also, we can join organizations online that draw out the best in us.
The present is inevitable. We could not change the weather, our culture or other people. We have to accept whatever the present puts in our table. The present is just the way it is. If there is something we don’t like in the present moment, we have to accept it, then tweak something that would promise us a favorable future.
Be the hero of your own story
Each of us has our own dragon. We may either slay it or tame it to our advantage. The surest way is to slay the thoughts that would bring the villain in us. Heroes too never give up that easily. Whether in victory or captivity, we can be heroes when we maintain that tenacity within. Heroes are powerful. That power lies within. And when that power is brought into the open, others would benefit from our hero journey.
Heroes do not serve themselves. They serve Someone up there greater than themselves. And when they do it rightfully their power is increased.
Let us then serve God even if others do not. Remember, we might be the only gospel that others ever read.
Are you now ready to live the extraordinary life? Me too!
If life had been designed in black and white, living must have been easier. It is the shades of gray that make things a little obscure. At times we say things when we mean the other, and take things that aren’t supposed to be taken in its vague form. Because sometimes we are not great communicators, our words are taken out of context.
It is the abstract that separates the wise from the fool. The teachings of Aesop, Jesus, Buddha, and other great teachers are delivered in fables, anecdotes, and parables. It would take for an ordinary person to walk through the thin pathway of his mind in order to digest every word that these great teachers impart. If one does not give time for reflection, then he lost the chance to properly “see” and thereby apply the lessons supposedly learned.
Thus, it is man’s duty to go out into his wilderness and immerse himself in the wholeness of his being. “What is essential is invisible to the eye.” So it was said. Abstractions may be confusing, but it’s worth the effort.
The transition phase
So how was I after two weeks in the unemployment barracks? Well, I felt good, a bit apprehensive but more excited for the new path I am taking.
There are three reasons why people walk away: burn-out, unproductive environment and seeking for something that gives more meaning and purpose to life. I have all those three. For those I have left, my reasons would be unsettling. But life must be lived the way it is meant to be.
Within the two weeks of soul searching, I discovered I need to let go of some things before I could successfully embark on a new journey. I need to shake off the dust from my feet. As I have shared here, for reasons unclear to me, my employer does not like me that much. No matter how much hard work I contribute to the workplace, still she makes me feel as if I were a liability to the company. The insults I received from her left a deep wound in my being. It is not only me, actually. She hates some of her employees and loves some. Internal politics, yes. But it hurts. And affects self-esteem as well.
Should I stay within the confines of the wound and feelings of worthlessness? Nah! Of course, not. Life is too precious to spend on those emotions. No matter how much we learned that dislike of the person and failing to come up with standards are no way to debase someone, it still happens. Sometimes for reasons that are beyond our control.
But then again, healing has to happen. If I just have a magic wand, I would have swayed it in the air and wham! I’m alright. Yet, nature has its own rules of making things happen. I have to go through the process of forgiveness. I need to go through the process of making my inner child remember once again that the way people look at me or think of me has no connection of who I am. I may not be a great person but my Maker sent me here for a reason. Sometimes, it is to do great things according to the capacity He gives each one.
The “why” questions
Things happen for a reason. Why does my former employer hate me? I found out now, it is kind of a domino effect. Experts say over and over again, that the way we look at ourselves has some effect on the way people look at us. Others treat us the way we treat ourselves. I do not hate myself, to be clear. But I admit, I am a nervous duckling.
Way back when I started that job, I was scared to lead. I prayed it would be fine with me to stay in the background as a support and not be the center of the spotlight. True enough, no matter how qualified I was, the other one was chosen as the manager and me as the assistant. Since my degree fits much with the responsibilities at hand, my former employer expected much from me than her chosen head. The blame was always on me every time our team failed to come up with certain expectations. Absurd, isn’t it? This scenario goes on and on until I decided to quit.
Not only that, I found out I am still carrying within me the failures and insecurities of the past.
When I was nine years old my mother and her friend had a talk in my presence. Her friend shared how good her kids were. My mother retorted, “good for you, my kids are all good for nothing.” That remark left a big scar in my self-esteem. Though I understand where my mother came from.
Her mother died when she was five years old. She and her two brothers were left with a drunkard father and an “evil” stepmother. Thus, the three of them grew up with lashes and scorn. Notwithstanding the fact that they were literally poor.
She struggled to take care of her own family and loved us the way a mother should. But the ghosts of her past appear from time to time making us experience the bitter taste of it.
Then when I was in the last year of my secondary school, I messed myself up by mental block in a declamation contest. The experience embarrassed me much. How I wished the two hundred plus audience would instantly forget my name. This might be the reason I dreaded to be in the spotlight, and be a center of attention once again.
The correct mindset
With my first-hand experience as the subject of my own case study, proper mindset plays a big role in job success or in whatever undertaking one sets himself to. Because I started with the wrong mindset, I ended up in a wrong working environment. This is the reason why few people excel and most fail. Whether we like it or not, this is how the world is designed. There is a saving grace, though—learning the WAYS of a proper mindset.
Wrong form of prayer
Dr. Joseph Murphy said that prayers could have negative effects if done incorrectly. When we pray we should see to it that we already have in mind the result of what we pray for. This is called nowadays as visualization.
This is where I am guilty of. The fact is, I am a prayerful person. Only that I prayed out of fear. When I pray, what I had in mind was the worst case scenario that could happen—thus I prayed that it would never happen. Sadly, that worst case scenario is already happening in my mind. Consequently, my prayers seldom were answered.
Focus is the key
What do I do now? FOCUS. Focus on what could happen rightly. Focus on my desired results. Focus on my bright future. Focus on becoming the somebody I was designed to be.
The wrongs of the past are not meant to destroy me nor anybody. If we just ask the right questions: why do things happen the way they did or why did I do what I’ve done, then we are onto the path of making the most of our dear life.
Each of us has a unique purpose. If we find and fulfill that very purpose, then we are no longer the nobody who wandered aimlessly into this world. We become the somebody who managed to do it despite everything we have been through. Be that somebody. I’m so glad to be on my way.
Daily Prompt: translate