True Grit of A Seeker

true grit of a seeker

I just found out freedom means a lot of things. It’s not really a liberation from some sort of things, rather it’s another way of living a life with different sets of struggles.

When I was still in the corporate world, I thought freedom means being out of some sleeping people’s authority, free to be myself, free to do what I love to do.

However, when I already have in my hands the things that I consider could bring me liberation, I realized I am facing another set of challenges. Some of which are the following:

1. People do not appreciate your freedom because they’re conditioned to live as slaves.

People are so conditioned to live a pre-designed life that when you don’t fit in a cookie cutter they’ll think you’re absurd. It’s hard for them to understand why you do what you do because in the first place they don’t know why they do what they do.

2. When you take on the Seeker’s journey, only a very few could resonate.

People fight for a pre-designed path that when someone says this is the right way, most will answer without batting eyelashes: Yeah, it’s the right way!

They forget that they have to forge their own path in order to know why they’re here in this world in the first place.

3. Shredding title off yourself means people will not like you for being ordinary.

People are crazy for titles. I don’t blame those who have and deserving for titles without identifying their ego with it.

Shredding myself off a title gives me the freedom to be who I am and not being identified as something that does not make me who I really am. It feels so wonderful to be a ‘nothing’!

4. Preparing to go against conventional wisdom and be criticized for it.

Done playing the validity’s game. Actually, I love to comment on posts, especially now that I am on a genuine soul’s journey. When I see something that’s not quite right like a thwarted belief, I share my opinion on the matter, not to make the other person appear wrong, but to make them see something that’s nearer to the truth if they’re just open enough for it.

It’s okay to be hated than to carry on with regrets for not sharing what was bestowed on me. If I’m the one who is wrong, that’s a great opportunity for learning. Besides, life is not best lived by how many times I was right, it’s how I learned from being wrong!

5. Embracing the life of the lone wolf.

When others learned that I’m just staying at home, they’re raising their eyebrows. Because for most of them aloneness kills. They forget that while it kills them, it might invigorate others.

I have to embrace who I am because that is just what I am. I am different, so are other people. The difference lies in the fact that only a few choose to live the life they want, and most live their life in accordance to the number of likes they receive in their social media accounts. I know, this is ouch! But it’s a hard reality.

5. Trusting God, or the Universe of what’s to come.

One reason why people try hard to get ahead of life is the feelings of security. Yes, we need to consider our physical body’s survival and those of our loved ones, yet it’s only one-half of the equation. Who knows what’s to come? No one. Who gives what we need? God, Higher power. Why fret?

6. Accepting and embracing people for what they are.

This is my struggle too. It doesn’t mean that because I am finding my way, I am right and others are wrong. They’re just living their life according to how they see fit.

Bringing them to the brighter side of life, to what really MATTERS is the greatest challenge on the seeker’s journey, but one we must do because it’s what we’re called to do.

While on earth, there’s no actual freedom. We can only continue to hold on to our greatest Source to lighten our path and makes the journey a little lighter for our self and others.

pwnezel

 

Daily Prompt

A Lesson From an Orchid

 

weekly photo challenge: evanescence

Weekly Photo Challenge: Evanescent

 

“Why are you cast down my soul, why groan within me?”

That is the question I ask myself when the turmoil within me is so strong I seem unable to cope up. But lately, I managed to count on my days and focus not on the troubles that prevent the things to happen the way I want them to be. I slowly learned to accept the truth that things don’t happen my way. And instead of fidgeting, I try to see the things that I can do to improve the situation. The thing that leads me to this realization is the fact that my days are but limited like the flowers in my garden.
As I contemplate on the latigo orchid that blooms, it dawns on me how this flower blooms its best. Its flowers are not only attractive but emit a perfumy fragrance as well. It feeds its honey to the birds, butterflies, and bees.
I come to wonder how this flower fulfilled its very purpose in my garden when it doesn’t even know how long will it live? Nor does it worry whether I’ll water it on the next day or not. It just lives. It just blooms. It just beautifies my garden for that is the only thing it knows.
Like this orchid, my life too is passing, my time limited. This orchid provides me the inspiration to be true to who I am and to strive to make an impact on which I was born for; to not be carried away by the little troubles that life brings.
How beautiful it is to make this world a much better place than it did before I came. I can only do that when I finally fulfill the very purpose that brought me here. And that purpose is to share what I know, to impart the God-presence within me, and to be all that I am.
I hope that you, too, have found your purpose and have shared your impact with the world.
pwnezel

Seeing Hearts 9: The Glory of Love

seeing hearts 9

Stray paint on leg of chair

With each passing of the day, seeing these heart-shaped objects became normal. Sometimes, I see them as perfectly shaped, other times, imperfectly. This lead me to these impressions:

Love is a mission

We all define heart as love. To the deeply spiritual, the heart is our core. I define this daily manifestation based on those two assumptions: that I am reminded to love every day; and that love is my core.
Loving everybody is not as easy as one, two, three. It means I have to love both the lovable and the unlovable, my likers and my dislikers, and so on. It’s not easy, yes, but like the rain that does not choose where to fall, whether to the good or bad, I also have to do my part. I have to extend love to whoever comes my way.
But before I could extend that love, I need to have it in myself first. I need to love myself unconditionally, without judgment, with total acceptance of who I am, who I’m not, what I am, and what I’m not.
I also need others’ guidance in order to love fully. I don’t have everything there is to know about love. Aside from constant prayer to be guided in this love journey, I also read Og Mandino’s book, “The Greatest Secret in the World.” The Scroll Marked II in it is very timely. It speaks of the love which should be practiced for five consecutive weeks. I’ll be posting that love part soon. It’s a good way to train the subconscious the practice of love.

 

seeing hearts 9

Morsel of cake

Love is what you are

I got this line from Deepak Chopra’s Youtube video, that love is what we are, it is our core, our being. I felt it to be true. We are born out lof love, out of God’s breathe of love. I felt so blessed to be reminded of this truth. And to this truth, I hold on.
 

Loving the unlovable

The slanted, deformed, or the ones that turned upside down heart-shaped objects represent the people who look unlovable by their ways and personalities. But digging deep, we would discover what makes them what they are. Love could do that much easily. The main point is, they too, deserve to be loved.
Conclusion
Our mission is to love because we are love, and that we have to love even the unlovable.
That’s all for now. May you have a great day!
pwnezel

When Discomfort Happens

when discomfort happens

 

A not so beautiful morning starts on the night before

Early this morning I felt a bit rough. I didn’t feel alright upon waking up.
While ruminating for what had I done to wake up like this, I remembered what transpired the night before. I ate dinner at past seven and had eaten lavishly. I gave in to my indulgence. Sometimes the pleasure of the moment is joyful to devour than the pain of the consequence. And I paid my bargains with a high price.
Wise men kept telling us to have dinner before six P.M. and avoid being too full. They are right.

Should not be feeling urgh

Because I was conditioned to start the day right and did rituals that could make my day right, I resent myself so much for what I feel. I keep saying to myself, “No, I shouldn’t be feeling this! This isn’t happening. I should not be feeling urgh today.” I didn’t feel positive, so I thought I was being negative.

I’m a physical being too

As the inner battle continues, I realize that I am a physical being—capable of feeling physical pain and discomfort. But it doesn’t mean that I am doomed for having such feelings. As of the moment, this is what I feel. Yet this will pass too. There are many things I can do just so I would not have the same dilemma again.

Allow the flow

I am an imperfect human being. But my humanness couldn’t hinder me to savor the flow that life has to offer. Rough days couldn’t stir me if I wouldn’t allow myself to be carried away by the short-term discomfort that my earthly body feels. Discomfort is there, but I welcome it. It is a guest alright, a guest I have to put kind eyes upon until it bids goodbye. It’s not there to stay because it’s not a part of me.

Conclusion

The next time you’re feeling not okay as I did, ask yourself what made you feel that way. If it’s something you’ve done carelessly, forgive yourself and try not to do that same thing again. Try to detach yourself from the feeling and realize it’s not there to stay. When you see things in an objective manner, you’re at peace with life at the present moment. You’ll then flow with life until all discomfort fade into the dusk.
pwnezel

A Tale of a Calling

 

A tale of a calling
And I surrender. Gone are the days of planning and ascertaining things are going as they should. All along I’ve carved a path I believe is the right one for me. But, no. Some lives are pre-designed; birthed for a certain reason. That no matter how one labor and toil to design his own fate, he is always lead back to the path he is meant to trod. 
Ever since I knew there was the calling. I followed. Then quitted. Quarreled with God. And granted to have my way. But when you’re called, you’re called. There’s no disputing with that. Things started then to get difficult until I found myself with the wrong people. Groping my way, I asked why; of why things happen the way they did.
The answers came at times vaguely, at other times clearly. But there’s only one answer—that I’m in the wrong place.
After a very long and arduous journey, I got out and designed my own fate again. Yet, the calling gets louder and louder. With each passing of the day, its claws burrowing more deeply into my skin.
No use fighting back. I must do what I was meant to do and be what I was meant to be. I’d been in the maze longer. I give up. And now I allow things to just be.
pwnezel

I Know Life is Beautiful, But…

Life is beautiful

Life is beautiful. But, I don’t know why. I’m sure it is. It’s beautiful way, way beyond what I feel, or think, or see. Only that I couldn’t point out why it is so. I couldn’t explain further.

Have you had any experience like this? You’re given a beautiful idea but you’re not given anything to back it up. Well, let me be bold enough to let it be. In the art of writing, I guess, we don’t have to digest everything. We only have to express something that’s boiling inside to get out. This is an example of it in its rawness. And simplicity. No complications.

I might sound inconsistent but I allow inconsistency to happen through me. At least I know, I am consistent in my inconsistencies. Let’s start a revolution of expression. Let’s just BE

Daily Prompt: Opaque

I Am But Human

I am but human.
It seems like a new year again. After Easter. I’ve been away for a few days. I didn’t mean to. I did have the time. It’s not writer’s block either. Many ideas kept boggling in my head. There’s one thing that prevented me from sitting down and expressing my thoughts. It’s that I couldn’t compose myself.
 
I seem to be experiencing my own crucifixion too. Yes, things weren’t perfect around. Perhaps, I was a little carried away by how things went. Or, I could be making mountains out of a molehill. I don’t know. This is one situation in life where I dread the most—when I don’t know what’s happening within. I hate to lost my stability. 
 
It is but human conditioning to stand on safer grounds—to be in control of everything going on in our life. If not, we are deemed lost or a little bit broken. We don’t like that. I don’t like that. I don’t like to be like a prey of something bigger than me. I don’t like to be fighting with a monster I couldn’t figure out what.
 
At some point, I yielded to the idea that it may be depression lurking within the confines of my head. Why? I haven’t yet arrived at the place where I want to be in a specified time. A monster within prevented me. Sometimes it helps to allow things to happen its way and just flow with the ebb of time. Yet, a voice within says: Hey! You should be doing this. You should be doing that.
 
Sometimes I recognize it to be my voice. Sometimes it’s a stranger’s. At times, I thought I wasn’t thinking right. Maybe, I’d go insane? This is what puzzled me most about life. When the universe wants to tell you the way you should go, it doesn’t give you one option. It gives two. It’s always either up or down; sanity or insanity; enlightenment or foolishness. The mere act of choosing is so difficult I needed to pour out my vulnerability with someone. So glad my husband’s there for me. Willing to hold my hand even if he could not quite comprehend what’s going on my insides. This might be what husbands are made for too.
 
So, I was crucified on Good Friday. I took up my cross and marched to some kind of death. I know, what I’ve been through was nothing compared to what Jesus, or others had been through. But it helps a little to say: I, too, have my own cross. Those who took up their crosses and never uttered a word were unicorns, while I am but human.
 
Now, Easter has come. A resurrection for those who believed. I am a lot better. Not because things are getting clearer. In fact, it’s still murky. But I have this one realization: it’s okay to feel not okay. It’s okay to be in a maze. It’s okay to stand on unstable grounds.
 
What drove the nail deep within my flesh was the thought of sharing only with you the things that are beautiful. This thought prevented me from writing for days. I said I could not be expressing my vulnerabilities here. The world doesn’t need it. I could have researched for some more positive things to share. I could have echoed the positive message of the great gurus and wise men out there.
 
Only that I don’t want to lie. I’ve lived a life full of lies over a decade. I recently turned away from that path because I choose to walk my talk. Now that I’m here, I’ve got to make the most of it.
 
Our vulnerabilities are beautiful too. Our humanness is perfect in its imperfection. What drives us crazier is the fear of feeling weak and walking on the path of the unknown. We could not shun away from the imperfections in our life and favor only the “perfect” events. We are humans. We fail. And we are still beautiful in our failures. It’s not something ugly. It’s something we have to go through. It’s part of the process of our becoming.
 
My other realization is that I am just human. Meaning, I need to face the fact that Someone out there is greater than me. And it’s in my weaknesses that I could say: Okay, I’m done. Please take over.
I am but human. I didn’t come here because I choose to. I come here out of love. And out of love, I could say: I accept and love myself wherever I am standing. I’m sure, the One who brought me here would never allow me to just fade like an unsung song.
Since it’s resurrection, I could start seeing life with fresh new eyes. Match with a belief that things are always beautiful despite the truth that I am but human.
Happy Easter!
pwnezel