The Newest and Most Amazing Addition to My Core Memory

The Newest and Most Amazing Addition to My Core Memory

Get-together

Float. A word that when heard gives you a feeling of lightness and positive vibes. As a matter of fact, I had a wonderful experience with this one just last December.

As our company’s custom, we were to have our company’s annual gathering a day prior to our Christmas party. For this year’s activities, we had a recollection in the morning and the evaluation of each branch’s performance in the afternoon.

Honestly, I never had the vaguest idea how the recollection would affect me. I thought it would be the same experience we had just like the previous years: listen to what the priest had to share, laugh at his jokes, and plainly follow where he might lead us.

However, this one was far different. I could not explain if my experience of the night before had something to do with it, or it was just a simple coincidence.

Restless

I was unable to sleep the night before. It may be because I was in a different room with four other people or maybe it was due to a feeling of overwhelm as the long preparation for our presentation contest had just been over. Yep, we just danced earlier.

Anyway, yes I was unable to sleep, so restless. I felt a tinge of emptiness inside of me. I longed for silence. Inner silence. The kind of silence where I would not hear the noise from the air-conditioning or the snoring of my roommates. Specifically, I sought God. I missed God. I wanted to talk to Him verbally. I wanted to go outside, but afraid of being misinterpreted for staying out alone in the middle of the night. I felt so helpless.

Thankfully, I fell into a deep slumber after I started calling out Jesus’s name. That was the last thing I remembered upon waking up three hours later.

Recollection

So then when we were inside the conference hall my eyelids were so heavy. The raindrops perfectly added to the sleepiness that I felt. The priest arrived. A not-so-interesting looking guy. Tall. A bit slim. Looked intelligent.

Father Ram was gentle but firm. He ordered us (not requested) to go to the comfort room or do anything that makes us comfortable for five minutes before he would begin because he does not want anyone to be roaming around when he begins.

He was direct to the point. And I loved it. I was surprised when he said he wanted us to meet God not because we were told, but meet God for the sake of meeting Him. Cool. I thought, “ah, meditation.” Just like what I used to do.

I began to get worried when Father Ram told us to close our eyes. I was afraid I might fall asleep. That would be embarrassing. His technique was guided meditation with the help of background instrumental music.

With eyes closed, I struggled to stay awake. Father Ram’s voice echoed. Gentle. Comforting. He brought us to a place we longed for. The most beautiful place we could think of. Any place where we each finds comfort. I told myself, “ah, my paradise.” I began to scroll through my memory the image of my paradise. Because I was so sleepy, I only had fragments of it. The rainbow’s colors were not vibrant. The waterfalls were foggy. The grass on my feet was not so soft. Still, I managed to stay there.

Reunited

I thought that would be the end of it. But I was caught by surprise when Father Ram urged us to welcome Jesus walking slowly towards us. The image of Him walking towards me was disturbing. My tears just fell unwantedly, when we were guided to gaze closely at his blue eyes. His loving gaze penetrated deeply into my whole being; my every bone, my tiniest cell, the darkest corners of my soul. I tried to control those tears because I did not want anybody noticed me crying. But in the silence of the room sobs began to be heard. I felt relieved for that knowledge.

So I continued to focus at the moment, at the blue eyes that gazed lovingly into my sinful soul. I felt so lost in the sea of my emotions. I let go. I could not believe that the night before I longed for Him. And a few hours later, here He was looking into my eyes, loving me, hugging me. It was so good to have Him with me once again.

A light seemed to surround me. At that moment it was only me and Jesus. His embrace melted into my flesh. I felt so light all over. I seemed to float. I wanted to spread my arms and fly. I felt like flying. I was on cloud nine, ten, eleven. Words are too weak to describe the beauty of that moment. It was just so wow!

Reality

Father Ram’s voice brought me back into reality when he told us to offer to Jesus all our pains and troubles. As to this part, I was not so dramatic. For I know, troubles are always there for our growth and learning. The only difference is: when we call on God to carry the burdens with us, life is bearable. If not, it would be a misery.

I felt Jesus telling me that He is just there no matter what. He is always there. I need only to call on Him and listen to the silence in my heart where He speaks. That was all I need.

Re-energized

When we were brought back to reality, I felt very much energized. The feeling of sleepiness was gone. I felt so fresh, so whole, so complete—the feelings I least expected.

It was years gone by when I last had my recollection. And I am so thankful for having this one at the end of the year. Until now the positive vibes I have had still lingers. With this experience fresh in my memory bucket, I know a wonderful year is waiting for me.

May your year started this beautiful too. Have a blessed day!

pwnezel

Float

Specific

Infinite

 

 

 

 

 

Why Do Hearts Constantly Break?

why do hearts constantly break

Why do hearts constantly break? I often ask myself. I don’t want broken hearts—mine or that of others. But hearts tend to break easily whether we like it or not, over small things and even crazy, nonsense ones. It is its nature—to break. Why? Because it’s through those cracks that God could easily enter. And it’s through those brokenness that God could prove He is able to make our broken hearts in perfect shape again…

 

A Fool for Him

Believing in His promises

In this world of uncertainty, we all strive for security.

My security lies in believing the promises of my invisible Maker. Yeah, I do not see Him; yet I trust. This is how fool I am. I am a fool for Him.

It’s okay. I would not be here, had not it been for Him. I would not have what I have now, if not for Him. I would not know what I know now, if not for Him.

From here, where would I go? To Him, I suppose so.

~Nezel

WP Daily Prompt

Be Careful How You Live

Be careful how you live. You'll be the only Bible some will ever read. - William J. Toms     pinned by www.affordablecomp.net

Sometimes I sit down to write with mind juggling with ideas. Only to find that the moment I strike the keys, all those words fly away. Today’s prompt is no exception. So, I scroll through anything that may catch my attention. Thus, I found the quote.

The quote above is timely and perfect.

“Be careful how you live you’ll be the only Bible some will ever read.”

This make me re-think and re-evaluate my self and my life. If you are a regular reader of my posts, you may notice I am a struggling soul trying to cope up with life in a positive way. My road is rough and bumpy like any other. This is what pushes me to strive for positivity; that somehow I may plant the seed for others to see, that life is not that ugly after all. That I may find too, at the end of the tunnel, a better version of me. There is just one catch though: I am not perfect and could never be. This is a truth I accept and live by. But this truth could not hinder me to strive for the best of me and of life.

Because I am not perfect, there may be some flow of my thoughts that may not be acceptable for everybody; you may call it loopholes, or naivety, or just plain poor judgment. And it is okay with me. I, too, do not even agree what everybody has to say.

There is just one thing I ask: just because I am not perfect does not mean my God too is. God is ever perfect. May you would not doubt what He could do, just because of what I do. For no matter how much I try, my steps still falter; the reason why God does not want me to leave from His side. Yet, it is through my mistakes that I learn the more. And I thank you most when you are a part of my learning process too.

Each of us has our own path to take, and our own cross to carry. May we not lose heart when one of us is unable to carry our cross, the way it is meant to be. May we help each other and strengthen each other. May you learn from me, and I learn from you. You may read my life; but it is not the whole truth there is to life. Life is far, far more beautiful. Know God and you will know the whole truth.

And through our journey into the unknown, God has this promise:

1 Corinthians 10:13  No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

Be blessed!

~Nezel

WP Daily Prompt