Good morning! I miss you guys. Thank you for still giving me the space in your reader feed.
So, what do I have for you today? They say an introverted person seldom opens up himself or herself with others. I will open up to you anyway since I know most of you have wide minds and warm hearts.
Here I am again sharing a bit of my stupidity. I just discovered the path to the unknown is laden with stupid moves and thoughtless acts. Yeah, I am one of those stupid species. I am not ashamed to admit that because…. well, it’s the truth.
My story starts the day I got interviewed for a writing gig by one potential client. Due to overwhelm, everything he asks of me to do I answered yes. He then gave me the job description, requirements, and the deadline. During the interview, I was already doubtful whether I could deliver the project on the agreed deadline. To think I have only less than six hours to deliver two articles with a word count of 1,500 words each. To top it all, on topics I did not know about. And it’s my first writing gig in that job site. Experience does matter a lot.
Mustering all my strength to have that “I can” attitude, I assured him I would be able to do it. With some more few agreements, the interview ended.
True to my word, I beat the deadline. But I was not peaceful in my sleep because I felt less confident of my work. I was too tired to do one hundred percent editing.
The next day, my intuition told me it was correct. My client requested me to rewrite my articles because it was a real mess. I asked for an apology and rewrote the whole thing. However, deep inside of me I was already on the verge of giving up. I just found out writing 3,000 words on topics I have no idea about was beyond my capacity at the moment. The research did not even help.
After I delivered the project, I asked for a feedback with ninety percent expectations that I may not be hired. Even if he’d hire me, I was already too weak to do a thing. Anxiety, overwhelm and fatigue took its toll on me. Besides, the project is more than I can handle. I also told him I was willing to end the contract should I not be hired, that the funds be returned back to him.
And yes, I was not hired. My work failed to pass the project requirements. But you know what? That was one of the happiest days in my whole life!
Why? Because that was one of the very few times wherein someone gave me a constructive criticism regarding my work without making me feel guilty of what I had done. I was so blessed to meet that potential client with a big heart. His act was kind of a breather for my life at the moment.
As you can see, I had been in a financing company for more than a decade. When I started working there, the company just rented a small office space where water drips from the roof every time it rains. I witnessed and even helped the company grow in my own small way. Years later the company had its own two-story building with spaces for rental. Not only in one place but in many places its many buildings stood up. It could be a success story for them.
But for me, it was not. For all the days I was there, I never received a pat on the back. My responsibilities include a sensitive one. I handle the financial transactions of the branch. I always receive and count money that does not belong to me. Allow me to raise my chair here, I did my job well and resisted temptations no matter how tough life gets. Others failed where I excelled. But management overlooked that. They failed to see my efforts and my contribution. Criticism was given, sadly, in a destructive way.
I quit of course. But too late. I was already a broken person inside, seeking to heal.
Thus, the encounter with that client gave me something money can’t buy. It gave me RESPECT for myself. I felt respected for the longest time ever! Yes, I receive respect often. But considering the time and trust a person gave me and failing to do what was expected—that was something awesome of him. Moreover, he considers my effort and pays me a considerable amount for that. But for me, that was the biggest pay I ever received for a work I have ever given.
Respect is very important to a person. It can either make or break someone. Until now my heart is still rejoicing. I know obstacles are still scattered on my way. But this one is a nice retreat to return to when the going gets tough. I am encouraged to do more and be more. Nice people still exist. It’s my fervent prayer to meet some more.