Love Me For What I Am

love me for what I am

“But you can’t rearrange my life because it pleases you.

You’ve got to love me for what I am for simply being me.”

The above are the lines from The Carpenter’s song Love Me For What I Am. I just love these lines so much. Not that I want to be accepted as I really am, with all my sharp edges, my past and my imperfect self by others; but also because it made me ask myself if I do accept everyone as he/she is and love him/her for simply being himself/herself.

It is a question of acceptance that I need to answer honestly. When I got married, I was disappointed to learn that I married a different man. I married the person I did not expect him to be. All because I have ‘expectations.’ There were even times I want to rearrange everything in order to fit in with my expectations. But the hard fact is that there are things that are much better accepted as they are and not changed; for it is impossible to change them either.

I am even still at the process of accepting and loving myself as I am. Thus, I need to sing this song unto myself too, over and over again. For this is how love works.  When I fully accept and love myself, then it would be easier for me to accept and love others too.

purposivewriter - nezel yurong

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10 thoughts on “Love Me For What I Am

  1. Mrs. Mother Dirt

    Nezel, thank you for sharing these houghts. I have made many mistakes in love (and wasted a lot of time and money – unfortunately), because I did not accept someone just as they were. I was never good at walking away without full effort (and by effort I mean “every intention of trying to change the person into who I thought they should be”). In retrospect not only was I foolish but also selfish. I think it came from a place of insecurity. I have had to give myself permission to be who I really am and go for what and who I really want. I too am a work in progress.

    Liked by 1 person

    • The pleasure is mine. What you have been through might be hard. I had been in such kind of relationship once too. Only that it was me who was supposed to change to fit in with his expectation. The relationship did not last because it was not meant to be. In your case, maybe it was not meant to be too. We do make mistakes. With the wisdom you get from the experience, I know you are off to a good start. Wishing you all the best.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. We’re all works in progress. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Self-awareness and self-love are keys to finding happiness in life.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. This was very beautifully said. I think accepting/loving ourselves is a lifelong process, but acknowledging it is the only way to fully give that love to another person is a huge step! I enjoyed reading your take, thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. This is a great read. I have learned from past relationships, the ones that didn’t work I, personally, was not confident and didn’t love and accept myself. When this happens you can’t accept someone else for who they are because you become dependent on then to fill your empty spots. They can fit them but not fill them. When a person finds their self they will find the fit and not the fill. Thanks for your writing.

    Liked by 1 person

    • You are right, we could not find a healthy relationship when we lack confidence and unable to accept our self. I had been there too. I concur with what you said, “When the person finds their self they will find the fit and not the fill.” Thank you for the insightful comment.

      Like

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