Radical Overhaul

radical overhaul

I woke up this morning feeling a little bit offbeat. Perhaps it is depression looming again? Before the illness, I was on cloud nine, counting the stars, watching intently what star shone the most.

Now that I am back on my feet again, a burden seemed to weigh on my shoulders. Was it frustration for failing to come up with my expectation of myself? Was there an imbalance in the chemical composition of my body that left me a little bit sad and bored? Or was depression playing hide and seek with me?

Haha! One thing I forgot, instead of asking what goes wrong, it must be better to look for what seemed right. I am getting healthier again, despite the acidity in my stomach. The ginger root tea is getting its mission. Sooner, this acidity would normalize. Sooner I would manage to get back to my ideal routine again.

It matters much how we see things; what are the lens we use to see things. If we look at things using the lens of negativity, negativity is what we see. But if we choose to see through the eye of positivity, we feel better; we are quite assured that Someone out there is looking over and making sure we are okay.

Someone out there carried me through my days of pain. I could have asked where had He been. Then I remembered, I was already okay because He came running to carry me. Had not it been for Him what would I be but a sick little earthling? I could not command the tides. I could not command the disease to go away. I could not command my food to grow. Everything is – because of Him. My duty is to recognize Him in everything I do; to thank Him for giving me another beautiful day to be spent with my loved ones. For if He should say, “Your time is up,” who am I to say No?

I may seem to be stripped of everything (my active thoughts, my positive outlook, my determination to follow my dreams, my energetic body), all because He wants me to focus on the most important thing at the moment. That is – to put my gaze solely on Him. He wants me to undergo a most radical spiritual overhaul. He wants me to deepen our connection. In the pursuit of my goals, I seemed to have put Him aside. Now, He is speaking clearly to me in my emptiness. In this emptiness, nothing comes in between. Just Him and me.

In my emptiness I bow down before my Master. In my emptiness, my God hold my hand so tight that I may remember, He is the most important goal of all. In my emptiness there is no sadness; for my emptiness speaks of His fullness. My God fills my emptiness with His assuring love and His loving Presence.

Now, need I complain? No. I Thank God. I praise God. My spirit has just gone through a love overhaul. And it is very beautiful.

~Nezel

In response to WP Daily Prompt: radical.

 

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