Anger. One of those emotions we hate to feel, yet do not have the capacity to not feel it. Every untoward thing that happened in our life is a result of anger that has skyrocketed. We end relationships, leave jobs, hate people and even leave our families just because those people or relationships pushed us to our limits. Actually, it is the anger that has driven us crazy.
Is it wrong to be angry? Jesus at one point got angry inside the temple too. Only that his anger was reasonable. What about the anger that is not reasonable? Should we punish ourselves for getting angry? We are only human beings. We are not Jesus. We are weak. We are unreasonable.
What is your choice? To stay angry for the rest of your life, or take the pains of managing your anger? The movie ‘Anger Management’ helped Dave to let out his anger that is building up inside him. Should we also go through those experiences just to put our anger into the open and be at peace with the past?
Well, I have a revelation to make. I grew up to be an angry child. I was always upset, always bad tempered. In our time children were not allowed to talk back to parents, or even explain our side for having a fight with our siblings. We were not asked what happened. We only were punished immediately. We only received orders and not asked how are we. The effect of course, is to become an adult with weak emotions and weak self-esteem. Because we grew in an environment where getting angry is normal, we became just that. Luckily, I became not the aggressive one. I belonged to the patient ones, the one who says everything is okay even if inside we are boiling with emotions that seemed to burn our intestines.
I am just thankful though that my love for books helps to soften my sharp edges, especially the self-help books. My drive to live a beautiful life made me brave enough to conquer my monsters. Anger is one of them. May you learn something from the following tips on how to conquer this monster.
Feel your anger. Feeling your anger does not mean you have to throw things. It means you have to take a breath and realize that anger is in you. Feel the rage burning inside you. See it there. Give it its place. Say its name. Say: Yes anger you are there. You are in me.
Detach yourself from the feeling of anger. You are not your anger. You continue to be. But your anger goes away in due time. Do not own it. It is not you. It is just a feeling.
Realize what is it that makes you angry. We do not get angry for no reason at all. There always is no matter how subtle it seems. Know the cause without defending yourself whether the anger is reasonable or not.
Confront the person. For those of you who are of mild temperament, this is easier to do. But for those who want to eat your aggressor the moment you see them, this is a big no-no. Just wait for your anger to subside before you confront the person.
Share to a trusted friend. It also helps to open your angry feelings to someone you trust; someone who knows how to listen without being judgmental.
Take your revenge. Ooooops! I did not mean physically. I mean mentally. I lay another revelation. When my first love married another girl, he left me frustrated and angry. To let out the anger from my system, I did a mental exercise. In my mind I punched his face, I dragged him, I shot him in his head, I poked his eyes out, I kicked his butt, I did everything I could think of to please myself. And it worked well for me. I did the same thing to someone who scolded me unreasonably. Every time I remember what these people did to me, I could not help but smile because I am so pleased with my revenge.
You must be very careful with this one, though. You must keep in mind that you are here to heal and not hate. The purpose of this technique is to keep the anger out of your system; to help you out and not wallow in hatred.
Meditate. Nothing ever pacifies an angry soul than the quietude offered by meditation. It relaxes your mind. It heals your weary soul. It helps you slow down a bit and slows down your emotions too.
Exercise. Anger numbs our nerves. It is a negative energy that if left inside for a longer period of time would paralyze our health. It is best to shake it out, or better yet dance it out. Just do something physical that could boost your body into a positive mood.
Pray. Praying is not limited only to thanking God or asking anything from Him. It is also the best way to talk to God about everything that goes on inside of you. Pour out all your emotions to Him. Take away the guilt. Just tell Him everything. If you are angry with Him for sending a monster on your way tell that to Him too. Open your bruised heart and let Him see how wounded you are, how injured, how damaged. The best thing is: God does not tell anyone what you are going through. He does not criticize you for being so vulnerable. He just allows you to be. Believe me, prayer works wonders. And if you can, pray for the other person too.
Hope those words help. It comes from my first-hand experiences.
Have a purposeful day!