Sacrifice. What a word. Just the mention of it creates a heaviness in my heart. In catholic faith, sacrifice is something noble. Jesus Christ sacrificed himself to redeem the people. And there are lots and lots of true to life stories bearing this gift of sacrifice. I would not tackle on that. I would narrow my focus on my life and my experiences of sacrifice.
When I was still single, I never knew what sacrifice was because I always follow what my heart tells me. My focus was just me and my life. Well, I also experienced working to help the family. But it lasted only for a few years because my heart was not on what I was doing. When I get married the word sacrifice stared me in the face. It challenged me. It succeeded in making a slave out of me. The last time it held my hand and led me was last December during our company evaluation and seminar. Our employer scolded and humiliated me and my officemate in front of approximately seventy co-workers. The offense was not fresh. It happened almost a year ago and the consequences had been paid already. But our boss refreshed it and went through it all over again. We were not perfect but we were also humans. We knew what was professionalism and what was not. What did we do? Accepted the humiliation of course and went on with thick skin.
That was the nth time I vowed to myself I would resign. But how could I when I have four mouths to feed? My husband has a job but it is not stable like mine. I know I have the choice to live a fulfilling life and find a work where I am respected as I am. But as of the moment I have to sacrifice myself working in a company that occasionally challenges my self-esteem.
Sacrifice. It is bittersweet. It may either break or make a person. I choose to make it create a better person in me. I just thank my God for strengthening me and making my journey awesome despite the ghost of sacrifice that is keeping me company.
Have a purposeful day!